A familiar storyline in understanding the plight of the bloated, neurotic addicts that are modern first world humans goes something like this: “humans didn’t usually have enough _____, so they evolved to value it highly to make sure they got as much as possible. Now they have plenty of _____, and it’s killing them because they like it so much.” Anything kills you in sufficient doses: water, oxygen, food, anything. Craving sugar used to ensure we ate plenty of fruit, craving savory foods meant hunting for protein-rich food, a strong feeling of group identity meant a strong tribe, and so on. Now we have obesity, heart disease, and the Tea Party. I’m not the first to say it[1], but a big part of our problems arise from a mismatch between our past environment (to which we are presumably adapted) and our modern context.
Allergies and autoimmune diseases may actually be another manifestation of this “mismatch” problem. We have aversions to gross things because of their potential as vectors for diseases. (For example, feces, rotten food, unnaturally tan people and nasty water can give us parasites, food poisoning, Chlamydia, or cholera, respectively.) We like things clean. But in the past, ‘clean’ meant ‘probably not containing lots of feces or fungus or bacterial toxins’. Now, it means ‘literally nothing alive, at all. Bunkis.’
The idea that this intense and unnatural cleanliness may be behind allergies is gaining momentum among mainstream researchers (see this New York Times article from awhile back). You’ve got an adaptive immune system, a part of your immune system that literally evolves through mutation, recombination and selection (although it’s a sort of “artificial selection” that favors lymphocytes that bind effectively to disease particles). The idea is that this part of your immune system is ‘calibrated’ to encounter at least some parasites and pathogens, because for virtually all of human history (until the last few decades in the developed world), these were everywhere. Your adaptive immune system would identify parasites and adapt to them, and would be continually adapting to new threats (while maintaining defenses against old threats) throughout your life.
What happens when you abruptly remove the vast majority of these challenges? Imagine some jerk frat guy who goes to a bar planning on starting a fight. All he knows is he wants to fight; who it is and why it starts isn’t that important. Similarly, your adaptive immune system knows someone out there wants some of this, and in the absence of actual bacteria or parasites, it’s only a matter of time before it staggers up to an innocent peanut protein and slurs “whadder yew loogin at?” Next thing you know, your throat is closing off and you’re being stabbed with needles full of the biochemical equivalent of bouncers.
And so the big idea is that kids are supposed to play in dirt, supposed to put things in their mouth, not supposed to live in a sterile environment. Go figure.
Now for the twist: what happens when you take a being designed to live in a tribe among other tribes, occasionally encounter human and nonhuman enemies, and be constantly assessing all manner of environmental conditions (food availability, weather, etc.) for real threats (and opportunities) and put it in a gated community in Phoenix, AZ? The “mental immune response”—the instincts that ensure we stay safe in the face of real threats—looks around for something to fixate upon! We could have a living situation in which it would take focus, foresight, and a dedicated effort just to die for God’s sake, and we would still find lots reasons to worry! Like our immune system, that part of our minds cannot (easily, anyway) sense when it is no longer needed and just stand the hell down.
The result? Just like an autoimmune response may attack harmless foods, or your intestinal lining (Crohn’s and colitis), or your lungs (asthma), your mental immune system can fix upon any number of stupid things. Maybe the government is out to get you, or you’re terrified about not being able to go to the bathroom when you really have to. Maybe you’re afraid that people are always talking about you and saying bad things, or that your daughter might be a lesbian (she is, after all, 24 and still single). Maybe, you should…
Try having some real problems!
You’ll naturally stop caring about stupid bullshit, as you naturally find yourself in the path of an avalanche or attacked by a mountain lion! This can be accomplished in various ways, but after the treatment, you’ll find that you’re no longer thinking, for example, “that Gale is talking about my lesbian daughter, I just know it.” Instead, you’re thinking, “good thing I was able to outrun that tiger and climb up that tree. Say, I really appreciate not having to run away from a tiger right now!”
Jasper Lawrence has taken a radical approach to treating his allergies: he literally went out and deliberately acquired intestinal parasites, and found that his allergies all but disappeared overnight. (The scientist David Pritchard has undergone his own self-administered test along these lines, with some apparent success.) Now, I’m not necessarily recommending that an allergy-stricken person go stomp around in latrines, which is pretty dangerous. I would, however, recommend that a neurotic person go stomp around in an alligator-infested swamp for a while. Who knows, you might just find out what it’s like to have had some real problems.
[1] Williams, G. C, and R. M Nesse. 1994. Why we get sick: the new science of Darwinian medicine. Times Books, New York.
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